Letting Go and Living Your Best Life with Denise Morrison

This transcript was created using AI. Please forgive any discrepencies.

[Intro] Welcome to Easy Style with Sami. I’m your host Sami Bedell-Mulhern. Each episode, I invite a friend, family member or colleague or just someone I’ve met on this journey called life to come and share their personal style and approach to business, parenting, life and everything in between. You’ll hear motivational and inspirational stories that will help you refine and build your own personal style. Remember, style is easy when it comes from within.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Hey, hey, everyone, welcome to Easy style with Sammy. today. My guest is Denise Morrison, Denise, thanks for being here. Thanks for having me, my friend. So Denise, and I met through my cousin Sarah cook. So you met her. And she thought we needed to know each other. And then we’ve worked together, we’ve connected to each other, we’ve collaborated, we’ve shared contacts and networked and all the things. So just one of the things that I love about my business and meeting other people that love connecting, like minded humans together, so thank you for being here.

[Denise Morrison] No, it’s my pleasure. You’re so fun. back atcha.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] So we’re talking today just about kind of like mindset and life and I kind of wanted to talk a little bit about kind of like how you marry what you do for a living with how you live your life and all the things. But before we do that, why don’t you kind of let people know a little bit about Denise’s?

[Denise Morrison] Well, the fun stuff is that I am a Gemini. I live in Norfolk, Virginia, and I’m married to a kiwi and my son was born in Australia. And that’s the more fun stuff. But I am a physical therapist. Gosh, it’s been 30 years. And I’m also a transformational health and life coach. So talk about marrying my journey and pieces together. So it’s it’s I found the right pieces at the right time to make me me and to show up better for my clients. So yeah. I love that.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] How did you walk? So how so I know you focus mostly on coaching women, and helping them live their best lives? Like how is that you just said like you just found the right pieces at the right time. So how do you think you ultimately landed on working with with women in transforming as opposed to any other demographic that that could be out there?

[Denise Morrison] Well, my heart goes out to them because I was then and I wish I had a me when I was in my 20s. And so lost and full of doubt and lacking confidence and beating myself up. So the wonderful guides and mentors and coaches that showed up in my life helped me put those pieces together when I was seeking things, seeking opportunities and avenues to study and grow. So and i just i My heart goes out to the women that are struggling silently, and almost like secretly, and I’m there for them. I my client calls me her secret weapon.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] That’s amazing. But okay, so do you find because this happens to me all the time. I’m not a transformational life coach. I could probably use you in my life right now. But I find it’s almost like the chef that cooks all the time in the kitchen, but then doesn’t come home and make dinner. Like what is that like working with because you’re hearing so many stories of pain and frustration and stress. And then you have your own life that has all of those things as well, because you’re a normal person? How do you kind of balance that in your day to day and not let it all kind of bring you down?

[Denise Morrison] Oh my goodness. Well, thankfully, the coaching, experience and education and trainings helped me to realize that I’m there to hold space in a loving, caring, curious and non judgmental way. As opposed to in the healthcare world where I’m meant to diagnose and treat and give advice and kind of like take over where I know from being a coach so long now. It’s like, when my clients are having a moment or expressing themselves, I’m just holding that loving space. And that’s their journey. And so, you know, in the beginning it was rough like I had to learn my own journey like not the people please and take over and try to fix I had to let tech go. And so now I have my beautiful rituals. I have crystals, I listened to music with different frequencies I go into yoga nidra poses. So I do some like before and after cleansing routine, so my energy is fresh for them and on them. Yeah, and yeah, that’s fun.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Oh, and that’s super interesting, because I feel like maybe I’m wrong here but that some of that stuff could be really impactful for all of us like before and after rituals for anything like going into Do a crazy work meeting or you know, when you’re hitting stressful times? Like, are those rituals that you teach people? Or is it just like, there’s like whatever meditation like people just need to find the things that what pumped them up before they go in, and then help them come down when they’re out? Like, you know, kind of do you have different styles of rituals for different types of events are? Or how do you kind of pull that together?

[Denise Morrison] It depends on the person I’m speaking to, everyone has a different kind of sensory system, their neurology is different. So a someone like me, who is born naturally, like excited and ready to go and beam, I need to calm myself down and come into my center. And I do grounding activities. So either way, and then cleansing, releasing ones after I’m finished interacting with people. But yeah, it depends on the person. And I would not want you to like jazz up your nervous system, when that’s not good for you. So after working with children, so for so many years, I saw the impact on how the littlest thing can set off a little human beings nervous system. And it’s especially important for my clients as well, because we, we sometimes lose that innocence and we too much from the world,

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] I would agree that we definitely take on too much. So well. And then the other thing that I wanted to ask you is like, I know that when you work with these women, a lot of times the things that they like you can see the bigger picture. And a lot of times the things that people come to you with, that they’re struggling with aren’t even like the root cause of what they’re what we’re struggling with. So I mean, I don’t want you to give away every all of your secrets. But like, if we’re sitting here and we’re like, I’m overeating, or I want to lose weight, or I’m drinking too much, or I’m watching too much TV, I’m not going out and seeing friends, I’m staying home too much whatever it might be kind of what’s maybe one quick thing that we can sit within the moment to be like, Okay, I’m going to start to do the practice of reframing how I’m thinking about this situation.

[Denise Morrison] Well as a beautiful practice is just stopping and sitting and being very still and quiet. And staying with that oddness that uncomfortableness and feeling what’s really happening and trusting that you do know what’s going on inside of you. And if you give yourself the space and the grace and the love to do it compassionately, as if you would look towards like a little child or a paddock thing, but to just sit there and go. What’s going on now? Like where’s my mind? Where’s my body? What are my behaviors and start to pay attention in a curious way? Not in a judgy mean girl way, but in a nice way. And notice, like, what’s what’s going on? Do I feel no it actually we’re not?

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Well, and yes, I like that you said sit in the uncomfortableness. Yeah, but that’s the hardest thing to do. It’s like we’re trying to do I mean, like, anyway, I’ll work on that. Clearly. That’s something you just triggered me a little bit. Maybe so awesome. Powerful, powerful. Ah, no, I, because I think like we’re especially the fact that you work with women. I know there’s days where I’m like, okay, you know, like today, I just recorded two podcast episodes back to back, I had a coaching call this morning, I had to take my son to the dentist this afternoon. Like I know, at the end of today, I’m gonna be like, tapped out but still feel like super guilty to say, Hey, honey, I need you to like take control and take all the decisions. Like, you know, there’s, I think there’s those balances that we need to find in ourselves. So do you find that most people are coming to you really like struggling with balance? Or are they struggling with their voice? Or like how can we start to really identify what that trigger is for us so we can kind of work deeper into that.

[Denise Morrison] Well, what I like to use the word harmony instead of balance because we’re forever, like falling off.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Balances eat like has to be seems equal. Right?

[Denise Morrison] Right. And does a seesaw ever stay totally balanced? I mean, and even as a physical therapist, like the act of walking, you’re perpetually catching yourself from falling. And so that’s the definition of like a gait cycle. It’s like, we’re forever fighting against gravity. So uh huh. As we ease into it, and we go, okay, what’s up here and truly tuning in. Like in a simple way to me but re educating my Are women going? Are you breathing? Where are your muscles? Are your shoulders up to your ears? Are your feet on the ground? Where? Where’s your thoughts right now? What’s your body saying to you? Like, are you even feeling good? Do you have any energy and those little self care self within checks? And that’s your best way because you’re inside you, nobody knows that. And, and then if you have a supportive family, spouse, whatever, to communicate with them and say, you know, this is my day, I need you for x. And that’s okay. And as long as everybody is on board, you know, with how you, do you, then you’re all set. It’s all good. So it’s usually those little stinky judgments that throw us off track when they’re the I mean, maybe this is your process. This is how you roll and it’s okay. And in your family, whatever works and being okay with that.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Oh, yeah, well, so it’s almost like saying, like, really pay attention to the inner movements in your body and like, knowing what you feel, as opposed to absorbing what’s happening in your exterior space, whatever. I don’t that’s not the right word. But

[Denise Morrison] Oh, for sure. No, but it is like, like, a lot of times my clients, they’re so outwardly focused on pleasing everybody, or doing the thing or showing up in a certain way that they’re so drained by outside they feel really uncomfortable going, Wait a minute, I’ve been doing this for 30 years or 10 years. I don’t like feeling so empty inside. And yes, it’s hard, because there’s a bit of acknowledgement that you are doing this to yourself. But it’s also an opportunity to go I can change this because I recognized it.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Yeah, that recognition piece is critical, right?

[Denise Morrison] Oh my gosh. And I mean, it’s something just happened to be before of course, it’s always like in the shower, and like, Oh, dang. Okay, haha, I see what you’re doing again. And then course correct in a loving way and make new decisions. Yeah.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Well, and you met so you mentioned earlier that you are a PT, you were a PT first, right?

[Denise Morrison] Yes, I’ve been a physical therapist. I started when I was in high school, volunteering and PT because I just thought it was so fun. Yeah.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] So and then you mentioned like, the things just kind of showed up to you in time. So do you feel like you did like you did this work that you’re doing with your clients like you did this work yourself? And that’s what led you to want to coach other people. I know, you kind of alluded to that before. But did you go through the same process, personally that you are now coaching on and? And is it something that you have to continually like, is it like maintenance on a car like you’re continually checking in with yourself? Or is it like, once you get to being a guru, like yourself, you’re like, Okay, I got this, like, I can tackle anything. Hmm. I mean, I think I know the answer that question, but I’m asking it anyway.

[Denise Morrison] Well, you know, what’s really funny is along the way, I became a yoga instructor because I was so enamored by the yogi’s that they just seem to be like, floating all around, and so happy. And then once once I realized, like, the world of yoga has human beings teaching it, and there’s issues. So it’s like, when you when I arrived within my own self loving and caring for my own self, that was my little moment of stopping in alignment. But yeah, all of the things that I have found and pieced together what I was seeking to help me, I now offer that for my women, and, yes, I need my own maintenance procedures, for sure. My own maintenance practice that practices so to speak. Otherwise, I can’t show up and be me. And then I’m, I love learning and I love like, if there’s a situation with a client that I’ve never heard of, I’ll go research it and find out because I want to be able to be there to support them. wholeheartedly, you know?

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Yeah. I think that’s good. And I think it’s also good just to remember, for all of us that it is a journey, there is no real in destination, because I think that helps us think okay, like, I just want to do a little bit better today than I did yesterday, right? That like, do you think that kind of reduces some of that overwhelm of like, I’m gonna fix this whole thing, and I’m going to have this life and I’m going to, like, this is what I’m going to be and it’s going to be amazing, like that goal is almost makes it harder to do the work.

[Denise Morrison] And just saying like fixing oneself, no one’s broken. No one’s broken. So when you can go, this is a little tweak, a little unraveling a new opportunity for me. So when I talk to my clients about getting triggered, I welcome those triggers because then we can say, Okay, what’s the experience that you’re having because of that trigger? What pieces of you can we kind of like take a look at and then maybe learn from and let go of and build up other pieces so that you’ve like gone okay, I saw the trigger I learned from that, I’m going to do this differently. So it’s, it’s a beautiful like neurological Korea, Korea got a choreography within oneself. And that’s the coolest bit because there’s so much power when you can trust and love yourself and what you can do. So

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Well, this has me thinking now my brain is going because my word for this year or my, my vision for myself for this year, was to do what feels good without expectation. So I wanted to let go of expectation and just know that the work that I’m doing, the clients that I’m serving, the choices that I’m making in my business are because I know, it’s what’s going to get me to that next step. And that whatever the expectation is, is gone. Whatever happens happens, and we’ll, we’ll see how that goes. But because I feel like sometimes just like you said, if we have these triggers, we have these emotions, we have these feelings, these thoughts, whatever, we see the picture of where we’re going, but if we kind of let go of that picture, and just work on improving ourselves, sometimes we end up somewhere we were where we don’t imagine. Yeah. Is that what you kind of see?

[Denise Morrison] Oh, gosh, yes. And, and I believe the words are now being called goal drama and goal trauma. Because for some reason, like whatever may be like we’ve set a goal in our mind, but then our bodies might not be aligned with that, we might think, Oh, I don’t want to do that i Someone told me I have to do that, or that’s what they said. But inside of you, you’re going to want that at all. And typically, like the goal will not be met, because your whole being is going actually I’d rather go this way. And very subtle, and so very quiet. And all of a sudden, you’ve found yourself in a new brighter path that brought amazing people and opportunities. And you’re like, oh, so yeah, having a nice vision. And as you’ve heard me say before, like have the vision of it, have the feelings around it have the sensations in all its pieces, the smells, the tastes, whatever. And that will, I think be a much richer experience day in and day out, then just that little smart goal on the piece of paper. Yeah,

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] well, right. I mean, there’s point there’s value to all things. But I think when you’re looking at big picture, who am I? Where am I going to be? Yeah, I agree. With? Yeah, I love that. And do you think you would be where you are now with your coaching business? If you had set that as like, this is my goal. Like, I know, You’ve had very specific goals towards what you want your business to be. But do you think you would have gotten here if you had a specific expectation?

[Denise Morrison] I mean, it’s, and then that’s the thing is I’m going what part of me was striving for that. And now looking back, I’m like, most of those, like, aiming for big goals in different ways. Were putting into me by somebody else, else’s ideas, somebody else’s expectations, old news inside my head, and I’m like, wait a minute, I don’t even want that. And the flow and the feeling of like ease and joy that comes from like, like having a great feeling. Instead of that harshness, that struggling that resistance and that like beating myself up daily. That’s the worst. Like, I did it for years. And now I’m like, No, we’re just kind of flowing and go in here. And it’s manifesting in its own way. And it feels so much better.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Yeah, I love that. So this is your permission listeners to look within, listen to yourself and make the right choice based off of what you want, not what you think you want. And we’ve had I’ve had so many conversations with people, especially women entrepreneurs, in the last few months, just about that with everything with how you approach the way you do your work, how you structure your day, how you structure your life, and just giving yourself permission to do it your way. And I kind of the last thing I want to get your your take on is the thing that I think is hurting us the most in society is this need to compare everything my trauma is worse than your trauma, my rules are better than your rules, my way of parenting is better than your wearing a pair of parenting and having this like duality that just we feel like we can say what we think without any care for how it affects other people. And so is that something you’re also seeing and in kind of needing to unwind in people

[Denise Morrison] if they’re willing to let go of that pattern that they have and the need to do that. And there’s usually an underlying need or reason that they keep that up. And typically, my clients soon realize that those people are probably not their people. And yeah, they find a different direction to go and because it feels yucky when they when they’re in that space and place and I mean I jokingly say you know to my son like check yourself before you wreck yourself. Instead of saying that or act, like pipe down and figure out the effects of what you’re going to say, and the face that you’re going to have on when you show up, show up at work, like, yeah, don’t take responsibility for how you’re presenting yourself in the world. Otherwise, you’re gonna get fed back to you the crap that you’re putting out, that’s for sure.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Well, then the reverse is true, right? Like feeling like, well, I didn’t experience as much trauma as somebody else. So therefore, I’m not as deserving of the work or effort, right? Like it goes the other way.

[Denise Morrison] Right? I mean, like, what’s the competition for? Like, yeah, struggle for and, and, you know, I like it, you know, tell my clients and of course, with my son and like, your, your, your way, your, your voice, your messaging is so unique, just show up and be you. And if they’re not appreciating, they don’t appreciate that band block, delete whatever you got to do to get that noise out of your life. Because you can find your people you find your tribe, you know,

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] well, and I’m gonna call Denise out a little bit. She doesn’t know this. But when we were first working together, just why need to show up like this on this platform, and I need to show up like this on this platform. So it makes me smile to hear you say that, because I know you’ve worked a lot on that over the last couple of years. Because that’s a scary thing showing up as a coach, online as yourself. And so it’s fun to just see that whole evolution continue to happen to happen for you. Because yeah, we’re all a work in progress.

[Denise Morrison] Oh, gotcha. And that’s the thing. It’s like, when social media, you know, here’s my age here, like when social media came out, I had no idea that it was like, You were standing out there naked. Like, everybody’s looking at you and judging you. I’m like, wait a minute, I’m not sure about this. And now now I’m like, hey, my message is going out to the ones that needed the most. And if you don’t like him by switch off,

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] see you later. See, I love that. I love that easier said than done, especially, you know, we can think that way. And then we get that one message and you’re like more, but it’s worth it’s worth working progress. Okay. We’re gonna wrap this up with the five questions that I asked everybody on this podcast. So where do you go for information for learning for personal development? I know this is a biggie for you. So I’m excited to hear your answer.

[Denise Morrison] Well, I am a big fan of Abraham Hicks. And that’s on YouTube. And it’s keeps me grounded to like the universe of spirituality and my beingness. I go back and hang out with my coach tribes where I’ve had my trainings and still watch their videos and listen to their podcasts and stuff, because it brings me back to home and where I’ve been, because sometimes along the way, I can forget, as as we all do, like, Who the heck am I today? And, well, I have them nearby. And I just feel that the people that I speak to and network with, they share things with me and just the right moment and get the books,

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] whatever. Yeah, that is also been a common theme on this podcast. It’s really, this has been so fun for me, because all these different people and I hear these common threads, and that’s one to like, you know, just put out in the universe, what it is that you need. And all of a sudden the resources will just show up for you. Wherever, wherever you are. So I think that’s a beautiful thing. Yeah. Okay. Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

[Denise Morrison] Introvert? Yeah, but an introvert.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Well, I

[Denise Morrison] can put the smile on and do with social media. If I if I’m on social media, it takes me an hour to calm down afterwards.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] I feel you there. I feel you there. What is one thing that’s on your goal list for this year, either personal or professional?

[Denise Morrison] Who I am going to be come a trauma informed certified coach over the summer. Yes,

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] that’s amazing.

[Denise Morrison] The level of healing that I’m ready to do, yes.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Good for you. That’s incredible. that would that would you be able to do that work virtually as well? Or would that be more in person?

[Denise Morrison] It’s it’ll be a bit of both. But I mean, mostly, we can do so many things through zoom now. Yeah. It’s kind of like real life.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Yeah. It is our new real life. That is what is one piece of advice you’ve gotten from someone that has stuck with you?

[Denise Morrison] Only speak when it’s an improvement on silence.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] You know, that is a lesson I’ve had to learn is the pause like embrace the pause. Because you’re right, we filler talk because we are uncomfortable with silence. Yeah.

[Denise Morrison] And like I was saying before, what are you why are you putting out what you’re putting out of your mouth and body? And do you realize the consequences of what you’re going to put out and if it’s helpful or hurtful.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Well, was that a hard lesson? for you to learn to when you first started coaching, not the hurtful stuff, but like when you’re working with somebody allowing that pause to happen in the silence to happen and not feel the need to like you said at the beginning, it was hard for you to not just be a fixer and a problem solver.

[Denise Morrison] Oh, yeah. Because I thought coaches were crazy people. I’m like, wait a minute, I was trained in the land of health care. We’re gonna tell everybody all the things and I’m like, we don’t have to do this to my clients know all the things. I’m just here to help them get it out.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Got. Yeah. That’s so hard. It’s so hard listening. And then waiting for a response. And just letting the response be is, it’s like a life lesson I’m working on. What is a non negotiable in your life? laughing? You do it a lot. I love that about you. Well,

[Denise Morrison] it just brings me like, I’m just I know, I was like, put on this planet to be pure joy and ease. And it just helps me like, spread it, you know? Yeah. Well, and

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Denise will share all her social links here in a little bit. But if you’re not following her on Facebook to watch her reels like she is like, and the things you rope your husband into, I’m just like, my husband would never it’s amazing. I love it. I love it so much.

[Denise Morrison] Yeah, tick tock. And he has no idea because he’s not on there.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] So good. So good. Okay. Well, Denise, thank you so much for sharing your insights, your thoughts, your perspective, I think it’s so important for all of us to really think about how we want to show up, and then doing the work to show up that way and feel good about it. So I appreciate everything you’re doing in this space. If people want to connect with you more, check out all your stuff. How do they do that?

[Denise Morrison] I would say go to my website, Denise Lynn morrison.com. Very simple. And I’m on all the platform’s hanging out. If you see my face, this is me, there’s a lot of us. And so I’m the cookie one.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Cookie one. Oh, my goodness, well, and we’ll link all of her links and the resources that you shared in the show notes at easy style is cme.com/sixteen. Well, Denise, thank you for being here today.

[Denise Morrison] Thank you for having me. You’re so fun.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Big, big thank you to Denise for coming and being on the podcast today. And for shedding light on how we can show up, be the best versions of ourselves, and allow ourselves to just be who we are. I think it is such a hard lesson for us and something that I’m trying to instill in my daughter to just be herself and my son. But how can we show up and be authentic and be real, easier said than done, especially the older we get. But I just loved and uses energy and the way that she supports people in living their best lives. So I hope you’ll check out her resources. You can find them all at https://easystylewithsami.com/16. Make sure you subscribe wherever you listen to these episodes, so you don’t miss out on a single one. They all go live on Thursdays. So we have a new episode every week. And we also have a new blog post that goes along with these episodes on Tuesdays. So if you want to dive deeper into a particular topic, you can check that out at https://easystylewithsami.com/blog For now, have a great rest of your week. Thank you so much for listening, and I’ll see you in the next one.