8 Ways Your Holding Yourself Back

Blog, Mindset

There has become a common theme on the Easy Style with Sami podcast – have you caught it? It’s about going for what you want, taking chances and being honest with yourself. It’s about surrounding yourself with those that can lift you up and that also know more about different things than you do so you can keep learning and growing.

If you’re listening to these episodes and feeling like you couldn’t possibly find the success that my guests have, or live your life your way, then you might be holding yourself back. Here are 10 reasons you might be doing that! Take a read, be honest with yourself, and take one action step this week towards working through it. 

Fear of Failure

Failure is something we are programmed to avoid. It makes us feel ashamed, less than, and like those around us will judge us. However, if you aren’t failing then you aren’t taking any chances. 

Each time you try something new you’ll learn something. You’ll learn if it fits you, if you like it or don’t like it, if it’s what you expected. I could go on and on! Reframeing your opinion on failure and embracing it can really open up a lot of opportunities.

Lack of Confidence

You’ll notice that a lot of these elements go hand in hand. Maybe you’ve had some failures in your life which has lowered your confidence. Or maybe confidence has just been something you’ve struglled with.

Confidence is something you can build over time and the fake it till you make it saying comes in here. Not in faking your skills, but faking your confidence until you start to believe it yourself.

Negative Self-Talk

We believe the things we tell ourselves. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you aren’t worthy then you’ll believe it. Start with changing the messages you tell yourself, especially in stressful situations. Create affirmations that you can keep by your desk or your bathroom and repeat them daily.


Not all procrastination is bad, in fact, sometimes it inspires greatness. The act of procrastination isn’t what you should worry about, instead focus on the reason you’re procrastinating. 

Are you avoiding the task because you don’t like doing it or it creates anxiety? Do you not have the right tools or resources to accomplish the task? Truly understanding why you’re procrastinating can help you make adjustments so you don’t self-sabatoge.


Attention to detail and wanting to do your best work can be great assets. Where it gets troublesome is when perfectionism keeps you from completing a task, or not doing it all. It can keep you from making decisions or taking action.

One way to combat perfectionism is to give yourself a certain amount of time to complete a project. Take writing this blog post for example. I have 30 minutes to write it and that’s all. As long as the topic is relevant to you, my audience, and I have done some research, then that should be enough time. Your tasks will take you as much time as you give it. So at the end of 30 minutes what it is is what it will be. It allows me to focus and be hyper dilligent and get it done, it doesn’t mean I am putting out sub par work.

Lack of Clarity

If you don’t know where you’re going then how can you take the right steps to get you there? If you don’t have a vision then you’re just wandering aimlessly.

It can be hard to live your best life if you don’t know what that is. Take some time to really understand what you want from life, your career, your family. That will help you make decisions and ensure you’re saying yes to the right things.


This one is really hard for me and something I’m constantly working on. Especially as a female and a mom I’m always making sure those around me have what they need and not tending to my needs.

I’m all for compromise, but not when it is always me that is giving in. This, to me, goes back to clarity. Really understanding what I want allows me to let go of things that don’t really matter and stand up for myself more on things that are really important to me.

Lack of Discipline

I think a lot of us found this to smack us in the face as we started working from home during the pandemic. Working from home leads to so many distractions. House work, a cozy nap on the couch, pets, etc. 

Discipline can also relate to other of these elements like procrastination or fear of failure. Try to set up your schedule in a way that works best for you. For example, if you want to exercise more then put it in your day when you’re most likely to keep that appointment with yourself. If you’re not a morning person than don’t plan to work out first thing. inthe morning. Putting tasks where its best for you will help you be more disciplined.


These are just a few ways you might be holding yourself back. I know life happens and things can be outside of our control. Don’t let yourself be one of them!